Sunday, December 20, 2009

A long overdue return

It’s been a long while since I’ve posted a new blog, and I have to admit as I sit here, I’m having trouble deciding where to start. I could talk about all the reasons why I haven’t been writing – 16 hour work days, 2 DreamLifts that took me to Florida and California, stress, fatigue, trying to keep my marriage alive in the midst of all of the above – but really, those who are close to me know all of this, and those who aren’t close to me likely don’t care. I could talk about all the things that have happened in the world since my last post in July, but to be honest, the same things that kept me from blogging also kept me from being on top of many of the current events happening around me.

This past couple of months, and really this past year in general, has made me think about life and how I live it in new terms. I have always been a driven person, and have always demanded the best out of myself, but this year I pushed that to the limit. I enjoyed great professional success and reward this year and I can honestly say I have never been happier in my career, and am so excited for what is still to come. I am challenged again…something I haven’t felt in a while. I am able to be creative, which as past blogs will show is so very important to me. And I feel like I’m working to my potential finally, rather than always thinking I was capable of more than I was doing. I am excited to kick off the New Year and the new adventures that it will bring at work, and I can’t say that has always been the case in previous years.

I also, however, found myself faced with the realization that in my quest for perfection in my work life, I lost the work-life balance that is more important than anything. 16 hour work days and a mind spinning at 100 miles per hour at all times means that something has to give, and for me, the things that gave were the things that are most important to me…time with my husband, connecting with friends and family, taking time to relax and spend time doing things for myself. I lost 47 pounds without ever once thinking about it, or trying to make it happen…it’s amazing what stress can do to you. It took a while for me to see what was happening, and it almost cost me everything that I hold dear, but I vow that moving forward, that balance will be regained. I need it for my happiness, for my health, and for my sanity. The New Year will include lots of hard work, I’m sure, as I learn a new career, acquire new skills and put some others into practice for the first time in a while (I’m sure my championship speech writing skills from Grade 8 will come back to me, right? J). But this year will also include some fun as well. Drum lessons (what am I thinking??), voice lessons (I feel bad for whoever takes me on as a student) and finishing the book I started 6 months ago, that has been collecting dust on my flash drive over these past few crazy months (thank you honey for convincing me to save it to a flash drive just before a Trojan virus wiped my entire laptop).

So as this amazing, insane, emotional, scary, exhilarating and exhausting year comes to an end, I choose to look forward rather than back. Look forward to a new year of learning, laughing, loving…to new experiences and new friends, reconnecting with old friends, relearning old talents and gaining new ones. There is so much ‘out there’ to do and see and explore…so much more that I can be…so much more that I want to do. The trick will be harnessing my ambitions enough that I don’t burn out trying to be and do everything all at once. Because the one thing I have never held the ambition to be is Wonderwoman. I mean sure, the outfit is cute, and really, how often do you get to wear a gold crown on your head unless you’re the queen, but I don’t need that. A simple tiara will do J Happy holidays friends.

1 comment:

  1. Glad to hear the reconnecting with old friends...although I consider us to be friends for a long time, but certainly not old. Oh well, you know what I mean! The hot tub at our place is open all winter...drop on by!